Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Triggers

Every now and then the emotional tumblers click into alignment and I'm left helpless, with tears streaming down my cheeks. Sometimes it's over quickly, sometimes it comes and goes, subsiding in diminishing waves. I take a deep breath, and "Wow, that was intense!"

Such episodes have been rare in my life. I'm more accustomed to moments of awe, joy and wonder. But those moments usually came without tears.

Tears started after my transplant. It had taken me two years to realize that dependence on dialysis was a gift of life. After the transplant, the thought that someone died and  that their death gave me new life was overwhelming. I would think of that unknown young man and the grief of his wife and child and  I would be helpless. My tears of joy were also tears of grief.

For a while these tears were on a hair trigger. Sequences of events and images would turn the tumblers into alignment. I realized that these tears were moments of awe, that they were glimpses of the powerful forces of life and death and not unlike moments of joy and wonder. For a while I could manipulate the images and summon these moments and I would seek them out and marvel. As time went by, this ability grew more and more distant and these moments of awe and helplessness became less frequent.

Now, of course, I'm back on a hair trigger.






Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Unstitched

I hadn't talked to Daddy in a couple of days, because like I said, I'm trying not to breathe down his neck. But when I told him that today, he said, "I didn't used to like to talk on the phone. But now, I'm glad to hear the phone ring." I guess the apartment feels pretty empty. Although he says he's had plenty of evening activity: dinner with Anne James, dinner with Ruth Mason and of course, with family.
He had just returned from his appointment with the oral surgeon. The doc removed the stitches in Dad's tongue and said the biopsy was benign. So the bleeding tongue remains a mystery, but it's over. They keep telling Daddy he must have bitten his tongue, but I don't see how he could have bitten it in the middle like that.
I'll be in Dallas early November to work on that story for D. Till then, guess I'll call Dad more often.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

For the record

I was cleaning out my email today and came across the whole string of messages planning our get together in Dallas before Mother died. Rereading them, I was so touched by the love and thoughtfulness every one of us expressed. So, for no particular reason, I thought I'd post the whole lot of them here. Of course, chronologically they run from the bottom up.

FROM:
    •    D H WADDINGTON
TO:
    •    Travis Waddington
    •    mary brown malouf
CC:
    •    Helen Duran
    •    gawarchol@gmail.com
    •    Helen Duran
    •    michael waddington
    •    David Waddington
    •    2 More...
Message flagged
Friday, August 24, 2012 12:18 PM

Wow! I just finshed reading all of the suggestions and proposed plans for the great visit. You have my opinion in regard to giving Gom-bu advanced warning of the gathering. Andrew's ordination may be just the ticket  as to a reason for an unusal event. I like the idea of brief visits on airport arrivals. Once she understands that everyone is here it will be easier to have a full group gathering without a meal but with wine and cheese.She will probably not be able orr even want to try leaving the apartment, but the rest of you cando it easily as you havwe in the past. Mary, I would hope you would be able to spend more than just one night here at the apartment. She eenjoys those visits very much. I don't think she will be very happy at the idea that this is a LAST visit sort of thing (even tho it probably willbe). She still knows nothing of these plans so try to keep it that way; but be prepared for last minutehappenings. Thanks to all of you for the great expressions  of love. We have a great family! Keep me posted of things as thjey develop.

From: Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>
To: mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com>
Cc: mom and dad <d-waddington@sbcglobal.net>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>; "gawarchol@gmail.com" <gawarchol@gmail.com>; Helen Duran <hduran@coppellisd.com>; michael waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>; David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>; Susan Waddington <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; Britt. BBBrown <britt@notnotfun.com>
Sent: Thu, August 23, 2012 6:13:15 PM
Subject: Re: DFW logistics
I nominate Westglen for the late night gathering.

On Aug 23, 2012 5:29 PM, "mary brown malouf" <marymalouf@yahoo.com> wrote:
I totally agree, Travis. Some cheese, some champagne and everyone together for a brief, uncomfortable but very happy hour. I think Mother would be depressed at the idea that her health would prevent such a Family Gathering.
I'll plan on my fam having some time during Bro Steve's ordination. I know BB wants to get out to his dad's place and maybe Jim and Bev's, since they are planning to move out of their house soon and into the Edgemere. That could be his afternoon, and maybe Anna's too.
We could reconvene en masse sans Mom and Dad later one evening, like we get together post-dinner sometimes when I visit?
 Mary Brown Malouf
mary@saltlakemagazine.com
801-485-5100 x17 office
marymalouf@yahoo.com
214-454-0433 cell

From: Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>
To: David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>
Cc: mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com>; Helen Duran <hduran@coppellisd.com>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>; mom and dad <d-waddington@sbcglobal.net>; Susan Waddington <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; "gawarchol@gmail.com" <gawarchol@gmail.com>; michael waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>; Britt. BBBrown <britt@notnotfun.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 4:08 PM
Subject: Re: DFW logistics
I will defer to the wisdom of my elders, of course, but here are my two cents.  We can't all fit in the apartment, it's too hot, the chairs are uncomfortable, and we can certainly be overwhelming en masse, but I feel like gathering together as a family at the apartment at some point should nonetheless be a top priority.  It doesn't have to be a meal if that's way too stressful, but I think we should at least have a glass of wine, maybe some cheese - maybe a cheese log and tiny rye bread, or something.  I think it should consist of enough time and activity to qualify as a Family Gathering.
As far as surprise goes, I think some forewarning is surely in order.  Adding my name to the known visitors list won't spoil the surprise too much - after all, I'll be there this weekend as well - and might help Gombu prepare for multiple visitors without giving away the extent of the visitation.  That might be enough...?
I will be arriving too late on Thursday to visit that night.  I can also be dispatched to pick people up at the airport, if that will help.

On Thu, Aug 23, 2012 at 4:22 PM, David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com> wrote:
Brother Stephen (Cousin Andrew) will be ordained into the priesthood Saturday morning at Cistercian. I assume DSTM&L will attend. (Anyone else is welcome, I'm sure!) That would be a great time for Mary's group to visit together.
Travis will probably arrive too late Thursday for a visit, can certainly swing by Friday morning with DM&L.
Susan posted these thoughts on the blog the other day: "Instead of thinking of the visits to Polly as a parade, think of the whole weekend as, to quote BB, "Christmas in September". It will be good for all of us to be together in various groupings. Perhaps we will have HQ at our house one day and at Helen & Will's another - sort of like waiting rooms at a hospital, where we can talk, eat, nap, or whatever, while small groups take turns visiting the apartment."

On Thu, Aug 23, 2012 at 3:43 PM, mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com> wrote:
I was thinking of a series of surprises. She knows Glen and I are coming in on Thursday.
Friday morning, Laura and Michael can come by on their way home from Love Field.
Friday noon I'll send Glen to pick up Anna at DFW. She can come by the apartment for awhile, then go to Michael's, who gets back to Dallas around 3.
BB comes in about Friday at 5 or something. Glen can pick him up at Love, then bring him by the apartment for awhile. He's going to stay the night at Michael's, too.
I think Travis gets in Thursday, too. He could come by that evening.
I think we need to set aside a very short time when we are all at the apartment at once. Just because I think Mother would like that sight. We don't have to eat or anything. So we should choose when that would be. Maybe an early evening and then we can all go eat or something.
I want some one-on-one with Mother, too. I'll probably spend one night at the apartment.
What else?
xxoomm
Mary Brown Malouf
mary@saltlakemagazine.com
801-485-5100 x17 office
marymalouf@yahoo.com
214-454-0433 cell

From: Helen Duran <hduran@coppellisd.com>
To: 'mary brown malouf' <marymalouf@yahoo.com>; David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 9:30 AM
Subject: RE: DFW logistics
I assume, Mary, that you mean logistics of info, visiting and eating primarily.
Dave and I talked to Dad the other night. He suggested that we tell Mom that the folks are coming only a few days before your arrival. If at all. He seemed to think it would be good to warn her. Of course, she knows about you and Glen.
Although, I think that if folks sort of trickle in on Thursday, Friday and Saturday instead of arriving en masse, we won’t overwhelm the apartment or Mom’s strength and continually delight.
Or Maybe we could reserve the apartment hospitality room for a day or evening just for the space? Or we could all sit on the floor in Mom’s room for a very short time or….We could use our house for a hospitality suite but it is pretty far away. I don’t think that Mom can leave the apartment, even for a meal.
 BTW Friday is the WWW Homecoming game and the Homecoming dance is Saturday. At this point, Anthony is planning on going, but that could change at any time.
Helen Duran
Nutrition Culinary Trainer
Coppell ISD

From: mary brown malouf [mailto:marymalouf@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 10:11 AM
To: David Waddington; Helen Duran; Helen Duran
Subject: Re: DFW logistics
Hey guys,
Maybe we should discuss a little bit how this is going to work?
mm
Mary Brown Malouf
mary@saltlakemagazine.com
801-485-5100 x17 office
marymalouf@yahoo.com
214-454-0433 cell

From: David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>
To: Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>
Cc: Britt Brown <britt@notnotfun.com>; Laura Grother <grothersbooks@gmail.com>; Michael Waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>; mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com>; Susan Waddington <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 8:51 AM
Subject: Re: DFW logistics
Michael and Laura get in Friday morning,  leave early Monday.

On Aug 23, 2012 8:22 AM, "Travis Waddington" <travis.waddington@gmail.com> wrote:
I'm taking Friday and Monday off.  So I should arrive late Thursday evening and depart early Monday afternoon.

On Sat, Aug 18, 2012 at 6:23 PM, David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com> wrote:
I'm taking Friday and Saturday off...

On Aug 18, 2012 6:21 PM, "mary brown malouf" <marymalouf@yahoo.com> wrote:
Bought Anna a ticket to day.
Mary Brown Malouf
mary@saltlakemagazine.com
801-485-5100 x17 office
marymalouf@yahoo.com
214-454-0433 cell

From: Britt Brown <britt@notnotfun.com>
To: mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com>
Cc: David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>; Michael Waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>; Laura Grother <grothersbooks@gmail.com>; Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>; Susan Waddington <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; Britt. BBBrown <britt@notnotfun.com>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>
Sent: Saturday, August 18, 2012 3:25 PM
Subject: Re: DFW logistics
JOY + TOGETHERNESS > ONE-BY-ONE
christmas in september!

On Sat, August 18, 2012 2:07 pm, mary brown malouf wrote:
> I'll find a ticket for Anna. 
> Mary Brown Malouf
> mary@saltlakemagazine.com 801-485-5100 x17 office
> marymalouf@yahoo.com 214-454-0433 cell
> ________________________________
> From: David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>
> To: Michael Waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>
> Cc: Laura Grother <grothersbooks@gmail.com>; mary brown malouf
> <marymalouf@yahoo.com>; Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>;
> Susan Waddington <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; Britt. BBBrown
> <britt@notnotfun.com>; Helen Duran <helenduran@mindspring.com>
> Sent: Saturday, August 18, 2012 1:22 PM
> Subject: Re: DFW logistics
> Yes!!!

> On Aug 18, 2012 2:20 PM, "Michael Waddington" <mwaddington@gmail.com>
> wrote:
> Well, I can be there that weekend.  I think Laura can be there that
> weekend as well, though I should double check that with her.  I'm just
> waiting for someone to say out loud "Yes, everyone should be here," or
> "No, everyone should come in one by one."  In lieu of definitive
> declarations, I will start planning to come home for the weekend of the
> 8th and 9th.

>> On Fri, Aug 17, 2012 at 9:30 PM, Helen Duran
>> <helenduran@mindspring.com> wrote:
>> I think joy wins every time.
Sent from my iPad

>>>>> On Aug 17, 2012, at 1:49 PM, mary brown malouf <marymalouf@yahoo.com>
>>> wrote:
>>> I'd considered both things: that it would be great to have the entire
>>> family together, in which case I'll buy Anna a ticket.
>>>> And that it might wear Mother out.
>>>> I do think she's going to be worn out in any case.
>>>> And nothing makes her happier than the whole fam damily together.
>>>> But I'm not there, Dave, so I can't really make the call. Would joy
>>>> trump fatigue? xxoomm

>>>> Our flight:
>>>> Thursday, Sep 06 Arrive
>>>> Dallas, Texas
>>>> 6:55 PM
>>>> Dallas-Fort Worth Airport (DFW) | Terminal E
>>>> Tuesday, Sep 11 Depart
>>>>              Dallas, Texas
>>>>
>>>> Frontier Airlines 659
>>>> Economy | Airbus A320
>>>> 650 mi | 1hr 57min
>>>> 10:30 AM
>>>> Dallas-Fort Worth Airport (DFW)

>>>> BB's flight:
>>>> Fri Sep 07
>>>> 42
>>>> Depart Los Angeles(LAX)
>>>>
> at 10:30 AM
>>>> Arrive in Dallas (Love Field)(DAL) at 05:30 PM
>>>>
>>>> Mon Sep 10
>>>> 818
>>>> Depart Dallas (Love Field)(DAL) at 10:20 AM
>>>> Arrive in Los Angeles(LAX) at 12:50 PM 
>>>> Mary Brown Malouf
mary@saltlakemagazine.com
801-485-5100 x17
>>>> office
marymalouf@yahoo.com
214-454-0433 cell

_______________________________
>>>> From: David Waddington <dwwaddington@gmail.com>
>>>> To: Travis Waddington <travis.waddington@gmail.com>
>>>> Cc: Michael Waddington <mwaddington@gmail.com>; Susan Waddington
>>>> <srectorwaddington@gmail.com>; mary brown malouf
>>>> <marymalouf@yahoo.com>
>>>> Sent: Friday, August 17, 2012 11:45 AM
>>>> Subject: Re: DFW logistics
>>>> Obviously the logical thing is for everyone to be together. I'd had
>>>> the thought that maybe the thing is to come at different times so
>>>> there could be more one on one time with Polly since she gets so
>>>> tired so quickly.
>>>> Another compelling event is that I received an invitation from
>>>> Brother Stephen to his ordination to the priesthood which will be
>>>> Saturday morning, Sept 8 which is the weekend everyone will be
>>>> here.
>>>> Which makes a compelling case for everyone being here at the same
>>>> time.

>>>> On Fri, Aug 17, 2012 at 12:37 PM, Travis Waddington
>>>> <travis.waddington@gmail.com> wrote:
What weekend are Mary and Britt coming to town?  Is there any
>>>> chance Michael could make it to Dallas then as well?  I'll
>>>> certainly plan to be there, and it seems like that might be
>>>> appropriate.  What do you guys think?



NOT NOT FUN
6046 ROY ST
LA CA 90042
notnotfun.com





Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A Cross on a Shoestring

I needed some real tomatoes for work but the weather didn't cooperate.
Last week I finally found some at Lemley's.

When I ordered the tomatoes I reminded Farmer Lemley of my connection to Mom and Dad. He wanted to know how Mom was doing and I told him the news. I said I would be at the Market with Dad on Saturday and he said be sure to bring Dad by.

At the Market, Mr. Lemley came down to the sidewalk and gave Dad a big hug. Mrs. Lemley died 4 years ago. He assured Dad that their wives were still with them but that they were also in a better place. Only a man with that accent can say it so sincerely.

Then he pulled a cross out of his shirt and said "I have her cross on a shoestring. I wanted to wear the cross, but I can't wear a chain. I finally thought of her shoestring and I've been wearing it ever since."

Good idea.

63 Years

Monday was Mom and Dad's 63rd wedding anniversary.

Since Will's and my anniversary is close to theirs' we often celebrated together and I was very aware of the date and concerned about Dad's frame of mind. I just couldn't bear to think of him alone.

I had a short day at work on Monday so I made plans to go over to the apartment and help with thank you notes. I got there just as Dad was getting home from his doctor appointment. (Another strange moment: I had to use a key to get in. I'm not sure that I have ever been there when one of them was not home. Certainly not recently.)

We made decent progress on the notes but Dad had to go to the grocery store for basics and breakfast food. He rarely eats dinner at home lately, but was running thin on coffee and milk. So I, of course, invited him over for dinner. He went to CM and I went home to cook.

He came over, we ate dinner and were visiting, when Dad said, "Oh, it's our anniversary today! I've been writing 10/8 on things all day and I never realized it." He had forgotten completely. Is that a good thing? I don't know.

We also spoke about Mom's "things". Clothes, etc. He took a very practical view about it all. He suggested we take things to the Genesis Womens' Shelter. That Mom would approve.

Great idea, Dad, and a good anniversary gift for Mom.

Milagros

When I talked to Dad the other day, he was waiting for Isabel, the young Latina who cleans his house, to come over, but he didn't know why. Her husband James had called and scheduled the visit. Dad was afraid maybe she wanted to quit or something. A raise?

Turns out, she just wanted to visit Dad, make sure he was alright, and say how sorry she was about Mother and how much she enjoyed working for them. A formal condolences visit.

Everything was communicated through James, of course, because Isabel doesn't speak English, but they reminisced about Mother. Isabel told how Mother had gone through the 80th birthday book with her and how they had learned to communicate with gestures. She asked about Mother and Daddy, how long they'd known each other and how long they were married.

They stayed an hour and a half, just visiting.


Monday, October 8, 2012

The Bloody Tongue, Part 2

I was alarmed by Mary's last post, Daddy's Bleeding Tongue and then lulled into a new sense of normalcy.

That's the way it's been with both Polly and Don and with Marilyn (Susan's mother) over the last several years. (I guess that's life with the super-old. Fragile illusions of normalcy punctuated by mystifying excursions into reality.)

So, I called to check-in Friday during my lunch hour. Dad answered the phone and sounded like he had four stitches in his tongue (which he did.)

"Hey Pops, how're ya doin?" I started optimistically.

"Hmm. Not 'tho goodth," he mumbled. Not a good omen. Dad NEVER admits to anything being amiss.

He told me that he thought a stitch had come loose in his tongue, that he was bleeding again, that he couldn't get a hold of the oral surgeon who had put in the stitches, and that he was getting ready to drive himself over to the Presbyterian Emergency Room.

"Hold on right there," I said. "I'm coming over to pick you up right now." He protested, saying he had driven himself while his tongue was bleeding at midnight Tuesday, but I said "NO, stay right there, I'm on my way." And I was.

His tongue bled steadily while we waited for treatment. It was a busy Friday afternoon in the ER. I got him a cup of ice, a box of kleenex and a cup in which to spit, all of which soon became a bloody mess, along with the front of his shirt. Dad was quite miserable and needless to say, soon became quite impatient.

We finally met Dr. Tran, a young man whom we really liked. He was honest about several things. Uncontrollable bleeding from the tongue is pretty unusual because the tongue usually heals quickly by itself. The cumedin (blood-thinner) was causing the problem. Dad's level was normal for him because of his animal replacement heart valve, but higher than for normal cardiac patients. Stitches are usually not used on the tongue because the tissue falls apart after several days and the stitches can fall out leaving a bigger hole. Coagulants have difficulty because they are made to work on a dry surface, like skin. The ever present and ever produced saliva in the mouth washes and dilutes.

Dr. T outlined several treament possibilities that he thought might have success and then left to consult with other doctors, including an ENT specialist and treat other patients. Because of Dad's history we were in the cardiac unit and it was obvious that there were a number of other patients whose condition was more critical. As Dad became more impatient, I suggested that on an episode of ER, the impatient tongue-bleeder would be the comic relief. He was mildly amused. At least we found the baseball playoffs on TV, but the Rangers' performance did not alleviate the tedium.

Finally Dr. Tran returned with a plan. He dried and compressed the tongue with gauze, then poured liquid Thrombin over the opening and then applied a piece of Surgiseal over the Thrombin and compressed. After serveral treatments, the bleeding slowed. After a few more, the bleeding stopped!

Now it was time for more waiting to see if the tenuous scab remained in place. Which it did.

Dr. Tran wanted Dad to stay in the hospital overnight for observation in case the scab came loose, but Dad would have none of it. He is still bothered by bed-sores from his heart surgery last summer and he had a full schedule planned for Saturday starting at the church at 8:30 the following morning. So around 9pm, we walked out into a chilly Friday evening. A cold front had dropped temperatures 30 degrees during the 7 hours we were in the ER.

Dad was put on a smooth liquid diet so food wouldn't dislodge the scab, so I wanted to go by Central Market and get him some soups so he'd have something to eat. Dad objected, saying he had some canned soup and would be seeing Helen the next day at the Farmer's Market Cooking Classes and for a minute I went along with him. But as we passed the turn, I turned to him and said, "Sorry, but I'm going to get you some soup!"

"Oh, no. You've spent too much time with me already, you need to get home." (He used Mom's arguments like a seasoned pro.)

"This has got nothin' to do with you," I told him. "My sister Mary would absolutely kill me if I didn't go to Central Market and get you some of their homemade style soups." (I placed Mary in Mom's position.)

"Okay," he said. "I see your point."

We walked into CM and he headed over to the Dinners for Two. "Country Ham with Macaroni and Cheese," he said. "That would be good."

"When are you going to eat that?" I asked. "That's not liquid."

"Oh."

After we selected some cold soups, he walked over to the hot soups and started to fill a container with Tortilla Soup. "This will be good for tonight," he said as he reached for a container to fill with chips and cheese.

"No, no, no, you can't eat the chips, they're not liquid!"

"I'll pour the hot broth over them and let them get real soft..." he replied.

"Oh, okay."

We drove to his apartment.

The next morning I texted Helen and asked how Dad was doing and reminded her he was on a liquid diet. "He's okay, sort of," she replied. "He's chewing his food real fine."

"Yes, but chewing and abrading is the problem. His food needs to be liquid in the mouth not the stomach!"

Good grief!

Dad was OK though and was in good spirits when I saw him at church on Sunday. With the cold weather he was back in coat and tie and looked and moved like he felt great. Once again he said he was annoyed that he couldn't listen to the organ postlude because of all the people standing in line to greet him after the service, but I didn't believe him for a minute. He was in his element.

The phone rang about midnight. It was Dad. The bleeding had started again and he was heading to the ER, did I want to meet him there?

I did. He was finishing up in triage when I arrived and I got him a cup of ice and some tissues. By the time we were called back to the room, the bleeding had stopped. We still went through the check in process and saw the doctor, but were soon dismissed. They came into to complete the registration just after Dad received his discharge papers. We were out of there by 2:30am.

Dad had another busy day today (Monday.) Echocardiagram, followed by his workout (I think) and I forget what else. Too busy for me. I slept 'til noon.



Sadness

Am I obsessing? Or just not ostriching?

As soon as I wake up, I remember Mother is dead and then I don't stop thinking about her all day. I can't seem to think clearly, I keep forgetting stuff and I don't feel like doing anything. I cry at almost anything.

I'm such a goon, I Googled stages of grief. Then I Googled "sadness." And I realize that's it. Just pure sadness. I don't remember ever feeling it before when it wasn't mixed with anger, regret, remorse and a whole narrative of what-ifs. I don't remember ever feeling it before when I didn't believe there was some kind of solution, or would be some kind of ending to the sadness.

Mother had a beautiful, even inspirational death. Before she died she came to terms with herself and said the things she wanted to say to people. She lived a long, full life.

So I'm not angry. She wasn't "taken from us too soon." I didn't have unfinished business with her. Over the years she and I had finally been frank with each other about pretty much everything.

But I feel like something's been amputated. I feel like part of my brain is gone. Something's closed which was open.

Besides missing Mother and talking to her nearly every day, somehow, I miss whole chunks of stuff. I miss Granny and Pappy and Atlanta. I miss Druid Hills High School and Randolph-Macon. I miss Waupaca and  nonsense poetry. All this stuff that was attached to Mother and became part of my memory and now it's all finished.

Maybe it's because I have no memories of Mother in the place where I live that I have this cut off, isolated feeling.  Or maybe it's the same for Dave and Helen and Dad. I can't stand to think about that.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Dad's bleeding tongue

So I'm trying not to call Daddy every day. I don't want him to think I'm breathing down his neck.

But I did call today and he told me about his visit to the emergency room night before last. He woke up with his mouth full of blood, couldn't get it to stop and ended up going to the hospital where no one knew what the deal was. They stopped the bleeding and sent him home with the suggestion he see an ENT guy. But the next day he had an appointment with Ed Crowe Miller anyway, so he asked him about it, and Ed said he should see an oral surgeon and sent him downstairs to see one immediately. Of course, the guy graduated from Emory.

Anyway, no one ever figured out what caused the bleeding, but the doc took a biopsy and now Dad has four stitches in the middle of his tongue.

He sounded pretty chipper anyway and he'll go back in two weeks for the biopsy results and to get the stitches out.

He said he had no evening plans this week. I think I'll call him tomorrow, too.