Just talked with Mom. It's the first time this week she hasn't been too busy to talk. Either Hospice has been interviewing them, or they've been interviewing potential services.
Mom seems to be getting exhausted quicker. One thing was that the new oxygen system was set to 3.5 where her old system was set to the maximum 5. Over the last few days she's noticed the difference. While she has been unable to determine why and who said the system was to be set at the lower output, she and Dad decided to change the setting on their own. She said she can tell the difference and is feeling a liitle bit better.
Sharah, their new caregiver/helper who came through Hospice looks like she is going to provide Mom the help she needs. She cleaned out the vegetable drawer and threw out some too old produce and when Mom got off the phone, she was going to help Mom shampoo. Mom feels good about her and seems to like her.
I called yesterday afternoon from Central Market to see if they needed anything. Mom said they had been so busy over the weekend with Hospice stuff that they hadn't been to the store. Dad had a big list and was on his way to do the shopping. Apparently Dad fixed dinner last night, salad, baked potato and lamb chops. Mom said it was delicious!
We discussed communication with the cousins. She's talked to Betsy and Marian, I've been in touch with Sam and Don and Don's been in touch with Didi and Anne. Is there anybody else with whom we need to be in touch?
Of course we didn't discuss her diagnosis or prognosis, or even when the next doctor appointment is. The focus is very definitely on the NOW. One day at a time.
d.
I talked to Mother yesterday and this morning (before you did, apparently.) She has been amazingly frazzled and exhausted, and, as usual, shows each of the three of us the Polly she wants us to see.
ReplyDeleteTo me, she sounded as close to panicked as I've ever heard her, evident in unfinished sentences, fragmented thoughts, and extreme rudeness to Dad. I can only imagine she's frightened and doesn't want to show it. And she's losing control (actually, the DNR and going with hospice is giving up control in a way; deciding to die certainly is) which is always her biggest discomfort.
Plus, though she's very brave, she's better at denying than facing up. She's putting a lot of thought into cleaning the fridge, which she can control.
I wrote her and suggested counseling (I'm sure the hospice offers it, right?) for her and for Daddy, now, not after. I'm sure she'll reject it. But I think perhaps pushing the real topic that's on everyone's mind, talking about the unmentionable, would be helpful.
Of course, that's what I always think.
I checked flights to see if I could come down by myself sooner than the Sept 5 date Glen and I are flying down, but couldn't find anything for less than about $600.